Dear Friends,

I am by no means an expert on death, but a bit of background info may help where I'm coming from:

- my best friend drowned in her own pool when we were 13 - she was a diabetic/epileptic

- At the age of 15, my mom died from an aneurism

- At the age of 18, two neighbor boys (best friends of my brother) died in a car crash

- and at the age of 32, my husband and I buried a full-term baby girl ... who looked so very much like her siblings ... when she was 18 days old (major heart conditions)

With that said, this is what I learned the most ...

1) There really isn't any magical words to say, other than I'm sorry ... my heart breaks for you ... let me know if I can help, etc. Mainly, though, they need someone to LISTEN.

2) The six-week mark, to me, was the hardest. At this point in time, people either think that you've gotten over it, should get over it, or ... worse ... think that if they bring the subject up, it will stir up the emotions and make you cry. Let me assure you that they're ALREADY crying and actually NEED someone to bring it up.

3) Please, please, please remember to use the person's name ... they need to hear that name more than you'll ever imagine. They WANT to say the name, tell a little story, explain how they're coping, etc., but feel awkward by being the first one to bring it up. Do them a favor and bring up the name, first, (i.e. How are you coping since Amanda died. I remember her smile would light up a room.) This allows THEM to freely bring it up, without feeling guilty that this is all they talk about.

4) Interjecting a little humor now ... another thing I learned was that I will never, ever bring lazagna to help with meals. You get more lazanga than you eat in a lifetime?! Why? Because it's a complete meal that feeds everyone, it easily freezes, and any leftovers make a great lunch or dinner. I call it the "dying food!" LOL

If I have helped even one person by the above, I will have done my duty.

God gave each of us certain gifts ... and I guess one of mine is helping people cope with grief! And, by the way, Lord, I'm ready for you to take me any time!!!!