Hi,
My bipolar friend returned to work today after being out on disability since December 2005.

A few months ago, when he started talking over the phone about coming back to work I encouraged him.

People at work this morning were very nice to him, even giving him a special welcome during a big meeting.

BUT back at the office we share it was impossible.

He is a clean freak, anxious, ocd, selfish, and a control freak. He also has a good touch of mean ness in him. This is when he is doing well!! He has been miserably depressed and anxious the whole time he was gone. And today was hard for him, as it was his first day back.
Today he was worse than in the past and I was in less mood to put up with it that I used to be. He wanted to move my stuff, he wanted to keep fussing and worrying about his stuff, he wanted to make changes in the lay out of the office. He was on the phone the whole time (we have one phone line) . . . . .

Also, perhaps because of his ECT he forgot that some of the changes in the office were done by HIM (not me) before he left.

My boss and collleagues are telling me that I can have a big empty office down the hall for myself. Get this, he doesn't want me to leave. He is afraid that in the future the dept might give him a roommmate not as nice as I.

Then he was trying to take my stuff: phone because the speaker function on his is not working, a new book bag I had, . . . .

Many months ago, I bought a small beautiful lepidolite crystal to hang on the wall near my chair. It is supposed to offer protection in the workplace, and well, it looks nice. I walked in and saw him climbing over my desk to take it off the wall. I had to holler at him and say, "Let me have my crystal." I felt so looooow for acting that way.

Gosh, I hope that he doesn't read here, but I really need to vent.

So I spent 3.5 hours dumping files and drawers of stuff from the new office. The a/c was out so my clothes were soaking wet with sweat by the end of the day. After I cleaned out the new office, I straightened out my old office a little more so that he won't totally freak when he goes in tomorrow to straighten up.
Yes, he is gay, and very much a queen. That's what he calls himself when he is joking.
A few people asked me if he was all right. I said he is fine.

Oh yeah, and in the middle of this I was trying to get work done. We have a lot to do and I was dealing with various people in the office and on the phone........

He looks bad though because he lost lots of weight due to his depression. His voice is weak too. He is hoping that being back to work will give him his life back. I'm happy for him that he is giving work a try and fighting past the depression and anxiety, but I am pretty sure that I do not have to feel responsible for him.

Oh, and part of me is annoyed with him for sticking with truly sh!tty pdocs. Years ago I tried to get him to go to my guy. No. Then again later, even though my fabulous pdoc had left town, I told him that he needed to change pdocs. No. Then when his pdoc suggested ECT I knew for sure that he was seeing a crappy pdoc. It goes on and on. In other words, I am annoyed that he didn't listen to me and get better pdocs. I guess I think part of this is his own fault for not listening to me. I feel that I don't have to be patient with him.

And the truth is I have been good him. BUT I think I am allowed to only be as nice to him as I want to be. That's how I treat the other people at work -- I am tremendously nice. BUT I don't have to be so nice that I can't stand myself,
Sorry this is too long. I don't have time to make it shorter.

Mari