I also know how you feel. As you know I lost Bill almost 9 months ago and he waited on me pretty much. He was disabled also but he really stepped in and did everything for me.

I had Susan as a caregiver so she helped with the dishes, vaccuming and making beds and so on but Bill did all of my shopping and went to pick up my meds. Now I am trying to do it. Susan does some of it but I have to do some myself. I try never to lift bags with my right hand but sometimes it can't be helped.

What I see of you is that you have a great husband that is willing to step in and do all he can for you. That's love girl, be ok with it.

I know it's hard at times though. I too felt guilty a lot because I couldn't do anything for myself. I'm that way with my caregivers. I find myself at times trying to help them make the beds or put away laundry. I'm ok until I lift my arms over my head. I've already had 4 surgeries on the right arm so I am trying very hard not to mess up anything more.

I'll be 56 this month and I still have trouble dealing with the fact that I can't work again. It's very hard on us to accept where we are at this time in our lives.

Like Joan, I keep busy with my grandson's, I want to start sewing soon and making some jewelry. I try to keep busy with things I enjoy.

I am in councelling, I try hard to watch my weight and am trying even harder to enjoy what I have in my life that is good.

Don't let this get to you. You are doing all you can and you have to learn to be ok with it.

Like Joan, I too spend a lot of time on here. Since losing Bill it's been even harder to keep going but I'm working at it.

Hope you feel better soon and enjoy doing just what you can do.

Ada