Hi Shirley:

Well, it took me getting Diabetes, (even that didn't stop me from eating). I'll never know when the lightbulb moment happened but at least it happened. Too bad it didn't happen when I turned 30.

It was just easier to sit in front of the tv with a bag of chips, and dips, etc. I'll never forget the night my son left home when he was 20. I just went into the bedroom with two ding dongs, some yodells, and a big glass of SKIM milk. Yes, that's right, look how dumb my brain was??? SKIM MILK. Like that was going to solve everything. But I medicated myself into a coma that night.

Food (actually sweet and salty), did it for me. Didn't need a pill, or a drink. Guess it was the carbs in the ding dongs and the salt in the chips. Man, do I remember those party mix chip things, and my favorite, was the Dipsy Doodles Corn chips. Oh my god, have you ever eaten them? You could go to heaven from the salt alone. I could put away bags of those in one night, and go to bed completely saturated. OF course, god only knows what it did to my sugar!!!!

Oddly enough, once the lightbulb went off in my head, it stayed off. Don't know why.

Last year, I went to my husbands niece's house for a birthday party. They live in a mansion in New Jersey. You should have seen what was laid out on the table. In all my life, I never saw so many goodies. Thank God, I had that lightbulb thing go off in my head because I would have gained 20 lbs that day.

And they had food I didn't know what it was. I asked someone "what is that white stuff and they said 'herring in white cream sauce". Now I'm italian and my hubby is jewish so this was a party where most people are jewish. I do not know what herriing in a white cream sauce was and I wasn't about to find out. It's some kind of fish in a white cream sauce. Italians do not eat fish in a white cream sauce. Then they had some baked brie. Didn't touch that.

They did have all kind of wraps but they were the biggest wraps (filled with kosher stuff and really wide), I knew I couldn't eat that either.

Then they had a sald with cran-raisins in it. Never had a salad with those. Man, it was absolutely delicious. I knew I wouldn't go home and buy cran raisins because I'm diabetic, but honestly it was the lowest calorie thing at the party. So I had a small dish. Oh, they had smoked salmon. And whitefish. A big gold fish in the middle of the platter. It was absolutely delicious.

Then, in the party room , there were bowls and bowls of ........you guessed it......my nemesis, THE CHIPS AND THE DIPS.

Didn't go near it. But I did see a bowl of something I never saw before. It's some kind of flat pretzel thing. It's baked, not fried. I had exactly five. Let me tell you this. If this was invented five years ago, I'd be 300 lbs. That's how intoxicating these little pretzel things were. I tasted them. I said "delicious", then I walked away.

My husband's niece is 5 feet 10, weighs about 130 and could be a model. I love these tall skinny people who can eat whatever they want and nothing happens. I wasn't so lucky.


And I have a questions. There are terms like "guilty pleasures, vices, habits and addictions".

Exactly what is the difference between these things????

My doctor once asked me "you never cheat??" and I said "well, I do have a guilty pleasure, once in a while I'll have a baked potato with my dinner" and my doctor laughed and said "oh my god, Melody, if you're going to cheat, cheat with something that's worth cheating with". We all laughed and I said 'well, I have neuropathy, and if I cheat, my sugar will go up, my neuropathy will act up, and who on earth wants that". She looked at me and said "if only all my patients thought like you!!!"

I just said "hey it took me 55 or so years to think like this. It doesn't happen overnight"

But I get to dress up in pretty skirts (that are not black), I get to wear pretty tops (that are not black and long and tunics) and I get to wear low-cut blouses that makes Alan say to me "you are not leaving the house dressed like that!!!"

What till he sees me when I'm 70.

Oh Lord!!!! lol