Oh, ((((((Barbara)))))),

I swear, sometimes, you're living my life

My son's in prison for his temper (almost 10 years now). My step-son lost his temper and almost blinded his best friend. Thanks be to G-d that did not happen.

Remember what I said the other day about your trip-wire?? Honey, we cannot control other people. All we can do is control our reactions to them. What's happening now is an opportunity for you to accomplish something that you want very much apparently is being screwed up by a bunch of inconsiderate low-lifes . The thing is, Barbara, no matter how much you scream and swear and yell and throw things and whatever else you could possibly come up with, you are NEVER going to get these people to be 'considerate'.

All your temper is doing is kicking you in the @$$. I'm not saying that you don't have a perfect right to be angry. You do. It's the way that you handle the anger. The letter was FIVE-STAR.

The guy sounds like a flaming @$$hole -- 'not a scheduled class' -- of course it is, otherwise, the teacher and the students wouldn't be there. That's number one. Number two is someone is paying for you to attend the close, therefore, you have a RIGHT to get everything out of that class that's possible. That's means no teacher holding 'visiting hours' during the class.

The way you handle this is you keep going up ONE. If the teacher won't shut up, then you go to her supervisor. If the supervisor is an idiot, then you go to his supervisor.

You should, you absolutely should, have the meeting next week on the class. This is very good practice for you to learn a skill that The Universe wants you to learn. That's why it keeps coming up so much.

Your letter-writing is apparently as fantastic as your poetry -- it can accomplish miracles. So ... you can pretend 'in your head' that you're "very calm and submissive" -- to use the phrase that The Dog Whisperer uses all the time and you're writing what comes out of your mouth. That doesn't mean that you're not boiling rice in your head. That means what comes out of your mouth is calm-and-submissive, intelligent, to-the-point. Then you can go home and bash the crap out of your pillows .

It's like acting. Have you ever performed in a school play or recited memorized material in front of the entire class or went and got your driver license or applied for a job?? All those things that panic you or frighten you or scared the living daylights out of you and yet you were able to do them because you ACTED LIKE you had no fear.

That's what you're going to do to get this problem solved -->> ACT like a civilized human being, not the Incredible Hulk

You can do it. I **KNOW** you can. Agree to the meeting next week. Act like you're reading a script. Be sure to state that you're learning new material. Also, be sure to state that the Dept. of Rehab is paying for you to be there and you CANNOT fail. State that you have no problem with people enjoying themselves and having fun -- you wish that you could join in. But, this class is SO CRITICAL to your being able to get a job and get back on your feet that you CANNOT FAIL.

Also, express your willingness to help solve the problem -->> maybe you could sit in the back of the room where it's quieter?? Or, maybe when you're trying to write and to concentrate they could let you sit in an empty classroom??

State that you're not trying to make any enemies or make anyone lose their jobs -- you're trying to learn something NEW that's going to make it easier for you to survive. Re-state that you HAVE TO SUCCEED in this class.

You're gonna keep repeating that you CANNOT FAIL and that you HAVE TO SUCCEED in this class.

Act like this is a problem that YOU HAVE and that THEY'RE GOING TO SOLVE.

Barbara, as long as you keep the temper out of it, it'll get solved. I **KNOW** you can do this

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb