Hello everyone,

I'm Ryan from Copenhagen.. not actually a gerbil like the name suggests. In April 2005 my head was squashed by a falling pallet of heavy furniture. The pallet struck one side of my head and pushed it up against a wall, crushing it. I'm lucky to still be here! I wasn't knocked out (really don't know how), I remember everything and I was dismissed from hospital within 2 hours. CT-scan a few months later was totally normal. I have no memory problems.

It was recorded medically at the time that I did NOT have concussion. I was not vommiting, my pupils were fine but I was dizzy as hell! When I got home, it continued. I was also emotional and tired. (It is something that I disagree with and am in the process of complaint towards the medical board).

It is been however basically concluded that I now have PCS. Since the accident, I have experienced:

.Bad balance (my biggest and most annoying problem - I walk like one walks if they were on a mattress). This problem is with me 24 hours a day. On very rare days or 'moments', it is not there at all. I really notice those days!!
.Dizziness. Head spinning - happens every now and again.
.Depression. Comes in thick and nasty waves then leaves without trace.
.Mild headache which just lingers. First 8 months were worst. Now it is random. It is rarely severe.
.Irritability. Big problem.
.Sleep problems. Huge problem. I cannot settle my mind or body. Sleeping is now a major task.
.Concentration problems (reading letters and chatting are easier but writing a letter is never straightforward).
.Viewing screens and monitors (this is hard work and under a limited time frame).
. Ear ringing (since gone).
. Floaters in my eyes. They have decreased but some remain.


It would be lie to say that this hasn't been a total rollercoaster. Some days I feel good, I mean really good.. as if almost everything is really fine again. The next day it can go straight back down again into hell - and we all know how that is. That's how it is. Up and down and random. Impossible to hold a job. Boring to be at home.. yes, that sort of thing. Difficult for the girlfriend. I am English and live in Denmark - also a strain, although on good days, using the language does not put strain on my brain.

A few open questions:

1. Does anyone experience this sort of 4-5 weeks GOOD, 3-5 weeks BAD kind of PCS style? Surely if we are GREAT on one day, that gives us the potential to be GREAT almost every day? Right?

2. I've known 1 person to make a FULL recovery from this. However, I was suffering from heavy depression when my accident occurred. I am naturally a negative and depressive kind of guy (trying to change) - some doctors have even suggested that the PCS is playing off these. Any comments to that?

3. Anyone else have such bad balance that they wobble about when they walk, yet nobody else can see it? It's a constant reminder every time I get up to go anywhere. I feel like I walk on a ship at sea, or or a mattress. It's very similar. It doesn't 'hurt', it just irritates me. It is better than before but still hinders me. It is there all the time.

4. Cognitive problems - I have had weeks on end where I have missed out words in text while writing (but never speaking). Never used to do that. Then, weeks on end where it is FINE. So, if it can be fine, surely my brain is NOT damaged, right? This is what I find so confusing. Is it damaged or not? What IS THIS thing that is making my brain so useless on one day, so bad on the other?!

5. I want to hear success stories. It is the most distressing thing for a doctor to casually say 'this could be permanent'. I'm only 28 and it's a hard tablet to swallow. I like to believe I will get better.

6. Anyone can got any tips not to be consumed by this? I think about it EVERY hour of the day. It is always there.

7. I've heard that overdoing it in the first early stages is a problem for later on. An example: I used the PC as per normal in the first 2 weeks, thinking that I would be fine soon. It wasn't comfortable but I didn't think it would be a problem. To this day, I still get VERY dizzy while using the PC. I must take massive breaks or just not use it. Is that because I used it too much at the start? Anyone else experienced this?


Thanks for reading my waffle. Most of all, I would love to hear REAL success stories and positive, optimistic thinking. I would like to hear about real therapy and tips for not slipping back down the slope again. I have got better than I was but I am nowhere near how I used to be. If I can get to the stage of where I am able to work and be independent again, I will be happy.

I am glad to find others in the same boat.
I still say that PCS is one of the cruelest things to experience as all symptoms are totally invisible to anyone else.

Thanks all.