I'm not sure how it will be living with my family again. I know for sure I am not the same quiet, pretend I'm invisible, I don't deserve to be treated well person, I used to be. So, I may have to find my own place.

I don't work out here. Boyfriend didn't want me too because the wear and tear on the car would be greater then the income earned. He wanted me to get mentally healthy. So I'm getting better, and can't live with him anymore. Go figure.

I can always come back here, if things don't work out. I've got friends from darts. And a second family out here and in The Springs. When they found out I was from OH I was immediately accepted and they are all teriffic. The thing is the dart community is close and traveling in the same circles as soon to be ex-bf would be so uncomfortable now. Especially since he's got 15 years more time out here. Given time it would be easier. Can you tell I like to do things the easy way.

I talked to my dad tonight. He is supportive. Just said "I know you've been unhappy for a while, don't know all the details". He thought coming home was a good idea. I also talked to two of my friends from OH and NJ and they are supportive too.

I'm having trouble keeping quiet. I want to tell him so I don't feel like I keeping a secret and blindsiding him, like I am. I'm worn out, drained. All done yapping for now.