BF - I surely feel for you. I lost my Dad many years ago, and I still deal with that. I have such fear of losing another person close to me, like my mom. I don't deal with death well at all.
I think Moose said it all and very well.
I know you will do what you need to do, you have been so strong and I know you will continue to be, even though it hurts so deeply.
Each day is a blessing for all of us. Being there for Doug is the best thing you can do now.
Lots of Hugs, Nikko