Hi Linda, we cant do anything about yesterday only live the best we can from now. As far as fear we are all afraid at one time or another with PN. It is scary. We all had symptoms without knowing what they were at first and then after finding out what it was worried about how we would wind up. Learning about it and talking to people here and other places about it and doing the best you can for your health will lessen that fear. You dont have to be positive here all the time, feel free to vent and question. WElcome