Thanks.
Last night when I had to talk to each for 5 mins, I was angry with them -- mostly Dad.

This morning I called Mom and told her that I had boxes everywhere and could use her help. She said that she would be happy to help.
After I got off the phone, I cried.

I really do find this visit overwhelming.
They are not easy people to deal with. I really and truly treat them better than their other children but I get sooo much more grief from them. I am the oldest. Maybe that mattesr.

Today (Wednesday) Dad emailed me their flight information. This after he made the reservations months ago. He is a control freak and knows where he is going to be months ahead of time but apparently cannot extend the same curtesey to me. It's not like I care or not if I get the flight info. If I never get the info, they can take the shuttle to my apt because for the past 10 months they have had my address.

My mom was last here over 15 years ago. It did not go well.
She has huge anxiety issues/anorexia/talks about food all the time/and so on. And I can't say much nice about my father right now. Dad used to visit me regularly for a while when I was single and he needed help with a project. We got along ok. He wasn't drinking as much as he is now.


Last summer I visited them and we all agreed it was a disaster. I decided never to see them again. Dad solved that problem by deciding to come see us. If I can't visit them and I can't have them visit me, I would have to stop visiting them. This makes me very sad.

I don't want to break up with my parents. . . .

With them it is never the case that the buildup to the visit is worse than the actually visit. Most times, the visit is worse than I imagined.

I need to practice thinking positively.

And yes, I have made plans to make sure that I sleep.

M.