Hi Smiley~
I read you post and just had to comment. I think you know the answer to your question deep down. Otherwise you would not have asked for help. I have to agree with the one gal. Not all women were made to be mothers. However, I had worked in infertility for some time and I honestly can say I found that women in their late 30's early 40's turned outto be the best mums.
Any mother will tell you being pregnant is scary because of all the "what ifs".
But quite honestly, when you look at that child for the first time.You'll know it was meant to be. As for men...My mother used to say:There's good and bad in every kind" She was 41 when she gave birth to me.