*************** Please use care when reading ***************






My baby brother (the father my my boy that I'm raising since just before his second b'day) is not doing well again.

When he called me and said they key words that we'd agreed to, my heart literally dropped to my knees...in unmeasurable fear and unspeakable sadness.

I immediately flashed back to when he did succeed. I say "succeed" because he was actually "gone to this world" for a while and they didn't know how he'd wake up due to prolonged lack of oxygen.

I remember his waking up and my immediate joy. He was OK! Then I remember the absolute CRUSH of his extreme anger and disappointment that he did wake up. Reality hit me at that moment, I think.

So, while he's kept his promise to me by telling me (or someone) before it reaches that point again, I can't escape the fear and concern... At times like this I pray that I can escape the almost hatred I feel toward those that hurt him so much.

KD