Jacquelina,
my heart just breaks for the pain you are in. giving in to the word disabled is just giving in to the word, and getting the help you need, financial and otherwise. it is what is in your heart that counts and that is not disabled in any way.
there is life after diagnosis with rsd. it is a different life but it can be good and it can be happy and you can do things you like. it may be different things than before but it can be good. i know we talk a lot about our problems here because that is what a forum is for, but when we leave our computers, we have lives.
you are young i know and i have been disabled for my entire life so i truly understand, but i still did, and do, so many things, and i am a happy person. so please don't give in to this. apply for SS because it will help you. a word is only a word.
and as far as the 'stages' go, don't worry about it. you are right when you say different sites have different criteria. and do you know why? because no one really knows what the heck rsd is or what the heck to do for it!
much love, joan