Vegas! That would be awesome (except for the whole multi-day gambling budget, but thats neither here nor there).

Regarding the yelling..... if I feel I am being yelled at without provocation, I tend to stop listening or deliberately slow down whatever I'm doing. Childish? yes. I try to avoid arguments because I tense up, and then I hurt like h-e-l-l. I'm a VERY type -A person, and get frustrated very easily. especially if there's small stuff that goes undone. Like the outlets that i was swapping out in the kitchen .... I did 2 of them, and messed up one of the switches. Finally, on saturday I got ticked off, and despite that I was hurting, I re-re-re-wired the messed up one and finished the other 4.

I try not to think about what this will be in 5 or 10 years, but thats nearly impossible. I have hard time NOT thinking about that - will I be able to work, will I be able to play with my daugher, will I still be on all the friggin medication. Too many unknowns, and that scares the crap out of me- it wears me down mentally to the point of a breakdown every couple of weeks.

sorry for the rant/ramble... time to go do stretches since I feel like I'm being choked (AGAIN )