i had a stroke at the age of 33 over 1 1/2 years ago in december 2005. i did everything right, called 911 and was hospitalized. i went through weird tests for everything under the sun. the docs then said that it's possibly ms or lupus. i was a medical mystery for many months until last october, after my 5th mri scan. by then, it was too late because i have brain damage. i'm fortunate to recover all of my faculties. the sad thing is that the stroke complicated my treatment-resistant depression that i already had since i was 20. i'm 35 now, and nowhere near the right treatment for my depression. i can hardly function because of my depression.

i know those "time lost is brain lost" commercials are important. anyone feel offended by this because of the time it took to come to a diagnosis? docs found nothing that could have caused it, so chalked it up to birth control pills. besides, i still feel like a medical mystery when all the tests i went through came out normal. i had a ct scan, mri scans, mrv and mra scans, a lumbar puncture, a trans-esophageal echocardiogram, a holter monitor for heart rhythm, immuno-assay, and tons of bloodwork. i was tested for diabetes and thyroid functioning. i went through so many tests, so i may not remember all of them, despite all the note-taking i do.

anyone have issues finding the right treatment for depression? it's ridiculous. my psychiatrist has given up on me. and he's a good one - an assistant professor! anyways, i had docs suggesting electroshock treatments (ect treatments). i'm like, "are you kidding me?! i already have brain damage and don't need more brain damage." so, do you know of anyone who had ect after having had strokes and how well it helped them? i just don't feel it's safe with my situation. i know about the memory loss issues, too. i did my research on my options. i just want to know if there's relief because i haven't found any since. my life has been pure purgatory since. if i can get my depression under control, i can handle things. all i want to do is to enjoy the simple things in life, as i'm unable to experience pleasure, joy, or excitement.

thanks to anyone who responds. many thanks.