Hello all. Well it has been brought up to me that I'm not "coping" very well with life,choices,pain,and my moods. I will be the first to say I agree. This is not just now but in the past. I'm 29 and up till last year was deep in an eating disorder which is a huge flag of not coping. I ran from life and never commited to things. I stopped and started school,jobs,hobbies,etc. Now with the severe pain and unknown still of other dx I sit in fear and anxiety. I never know what to do and my moods are so manic. I'm frustrated with my docs just shoving me to the next or never calling back. The lack of adequate pain control and how my body doesn't respond to meds. Before this I had been on a dozen different anti depressents without any help. Now with my pain level I can never decide on docs,treatment,my outlook is negative,and I sit in anxiety with the fear of it going back to the way it was. I tried the move to ca and am not sure cause I feel so lonely and scared and mean being away from my mom. I also don't know how the weather truly effects because my syptoms are so up and down. I do feel though my pain is higher when rains and cold days my feet loose circulation.With more of an ache.Even in the morning here when cooler I feel less good but I don't know if is truly cause of the cool. I think staying in all winter would not be good too but being lonely is hard. I just wonder how others deal with the fear,anxieties,depression. I have been in therapy 12 years and still suck at the coping. I will say I am pushing more and up to 15 minute walks. Woo Hoo and can even go through big stores like Target A far cry from the 23 hours of bed time but my pain is still high and the fear of it going back is super high.Thank you and to all you guys who fight for so long your so strong in my eyes. Your my role models. I see all your faces on my painful walks.