Thank you all. You cheered me up. Change I hate that is true. I think though for so long my life sucked cause I looked for the easy way out and with the pain there is no easy way out.The move was a hard and I feel I still have the aftermath. I felt like I was back at the torture of the cleveland pain clinic program. You have to keep going to docs,tests,and treatments. I think I have so much fear like probably many of you. I have a hard time staying in the moment. I think when I get more pain control and I am going to see another pain doc cause the one I saw here was I felt not good so onto the other. I do have a reumo apt cause my other leg is getting so bad and my other weird out of it symptoms. I'm going to ask this pain doc for an order for pool therapy as well. I agree I need to get into more social. I feel in a way ashamed of my pain and what it has done to me. I have more friends in Ca then home but only a little have I reached out but I think its time for more. I'm going to meet with my old therapist from here next week and set up some support. I just need to get my pain better managed so I can do more. I want to be young again with "stupid" worries that seem big. If that makes sense. Thank you and your all amazing