cs...
man, do i relate. every day and every night. it gets so damn old. pd does take such a huge bite out of our *** on the bad days (scuze me, but derriere doesnt quit seem fitting enough) that there aint much left to sit on when the good days come. its hard on relationships too. not just spouses, but kids, siblings, parents, coworkers, (if still employed) and friends struggle to figure out how to deal with the inconsistacies of the disease. side effects from meds can alter our personalities that are already changing from having to adapt to a roll we dont understand which then gives us anxiety on top of the depression we probably have from the pd! without going into detail about my own personal life, i will just say that it is a good thing i no longer have my 12 gauge or i would either be in jail or dead.

during the difficult moments, do what you did in here. write. journal. it is a release and you let off steam. you do it well, and you can keep record of what you are going through. when you have a good day, read what you wrote and respond to it with positive feedback. find yourself through your ups and downs. it makes life a little easier to take during the hard times when you know that there are also better times.