I think a reason I'm hesitant if I went back about that pain clinic is and forgive me if I told you guys this but when I was at the Cleveland Clinic pain program which is a lot about mental the psych said that this pain issue is similar to my ed issue in the past about being a victim. It really upsetted me and I said that this was different. I can't will myself to be better like the ed. I can't fix the pain like the ed but he said its similar. Will see I have a pain clinic apt here that does not have a psych eval in a week and a half so maybe this doc will help my pain. I do feel my mental outlook if not in constant pain and new things happening always with symptoms would be better. I'm very wishy washy. One minute want to be in MI another in CA. A lot does go with the levels of symptoms and also that I miss my mom. I feel real mean to leaving. I will also say through this I'm still in recovery though symptoms are better from severe eating disorder,ocd,anxiety,depression. There was a time in my life I would wash my hands till they bled for ex or was so underweight my hair fell out and that is not a part of my life but still its like any addiction recovery you have to fight and that takes a mentl toll so of course between working through these issues and the pain I'm not going to be all happy go lucky. Just trying to be rational and calm. Thanks guys you always give me hope.