Three years is pretty bad, but ive seen far worse. In 1987 my aunt lost her 3 boys to the system, they were offered to me and I accepted them. Well, over the years she fought and fought for custody to no avail. At times she blamed me for fighting her, and she never really forgave me for taking in her sons.

She died last year never realizing her dream of having her family back together.

I never did fight her, in fact I tried to put my point of view across to the social workers on several occassions, just to be told that I also could lose custody. Believe me the boys were better off with me then any foster care homes, in which they would have been split up.

I will never regret raising them as my own, but deep down wish she could have satisfied the system so she could have had some experience of having her family before she died. Her youngest was 3 yrs old when removed, and now is in his 20's. He grew up not really knowing his mother, only what we told him, and what the social workers told him.

My dream of him getting to know his mom as an adult was cut short with her death. She lived a bitter life that no one but the system could fix.