Sleep is probably my biggest problem, and my sleep difficulties are many and varied. The medications only change the problems. The doctors and I have yet to come up with any solution that puts me on a regular schedule, so I can be like everyone else. I'm at the point that I am considering just not fighting it. Perhaps I should just sleep when my body says it wants sleep and be awake when my body says be awake.

Sometimes I experience what I call "death sleep." It's like someone increased gravity and I didn't get the memo. The urge to sleep is so strong that there is no way I can fight it off. I compare it to being injected with some of the drugs they use for surgery. My death sleep episodes can happen at strange times--usually in the middle of the day, but, unfortunately, seldom at night.

• Sometimes, I can sleep for several hours mid-day and still sleep normally at night.
• Sometimes, I can fight off the mid-day sleep and have a terrible time sleeping at night.

Usually, when I can't sleep, it will seem like all the conditions are right. I can be comfortable, yawning, can't keep my eyes open, relaxed--all of the pieces seem to be in place. But I just don't fall asleep. It's like taking a walk and not being able to take that very last step to make it back home.

I'm coming to the conclusion that the "normal" sleep paradigm may simply no longer apply to me. I used to be a marathon runner, and to run that far, common wisdom is to "listen to your body" to keep the exertion within a range that allows you to keep going almost indefinitely. It takes some practice, but once you've learned to "listen," it's amazing how far you can run (given proper conditioning, etc.).

Now I'm thinking that perhaps I should apply that same "listen" concept to PD. Maybe I just need to accept that my sleeping is going to be different. It does present a challenge to familial, social, and work relationships. I haven't found many folks outside of the PD world who can understand our sleeping dilemma. I'm wondering if fighting it may be more stressful than just learning to live with it and adjusting to it.

One thing is evident--I haven't been able to find a medicinal solution that I like.