Hi Cedar,
I understand where you are coming from, I've had E. for 35 yrs. and had 2 surgeries to better myself but I still have sz. every month. One thing I'm greatful for is that I have been married for 21 yrs. now and my husband has always been very understanding of my sz. and so has his family.
I have family that had to go on disability do to a back injury and back surgery that messed them up. If you want to apply for disability my best advice to you is to make sure you have a lawyer that will handle your case. The court may turn you down the first time but don't give up let a state Dr. check you over and get a written statement from them to back you up. By doing this you will have a good chance of retiring with no problem. My family relative went through this 3 times before he was awarded disability retirement. Here's wishing you well and May God Bless You!

Sue