Lynn
Sometimes when we can't speak words to show how we feel its an idea to write it down
Send your Mum aletter tell her how much you love her, and tell her how frightened you are. It will draw you closer.
My father died of Cancer 11 years ago, i was terrified to go see him so i wrote a letter. He came to visit me [120 miles away] two days later.
it was the best thing i ever did.
take care of you.