the news you got is so very heavy and you have sich a giving and responsible nature. You were trained to be a caretaker and it is so difficult to break the role or the feelings of responsibility for the other. I think the transition is feeling sadness for the other than the need to step in and help and if you don't step in, you feel guilt and failure. It is a huge leap to just feel sadness and to be sure to take care of yourself and not feel selfish.
I almost offered to help Ron again (who is in a wheelchair) I caught myself and said that when I last offered I suffered a major depression that still hasn't left and I went sleep deprived and had to switch and up medications some of which caused me to gain more weight.
I very much liked the article you put on the sinead thread...I hope she had a lot of viewers.
You have to tell yourself what a wonderful person you are and what a hero you are coping with being bipolar and coming from such a dysfunctional family and being robbed of a childhood.
Bobby