PD varies greatly from person to person in its severity and the symptoms it presents. However 4 years post diagnosis, to be in the state your mother is in is unacceptable (IMHO). Is she seeing a Neuro who specialises in PD, is she seeing the Neuro regularly. If this latest tuning of meds hasn't worked, insist she sees her Neuro again, and there is nothing to stop you going with her to the appointment. Be blunt, (your Neuro will be), ask the Neuro why she is so frail and what he is going to do about it. If he doesn't inspire confidence, insist he refers her to another specialist.

At 55, having been dx'ed at 51 there would appear to be no need for her to suffer the decline you describe if the PD is properly managed.

Don't feel guilt at not having been local to her, you have your life to lead and you are doing a valuable job in our military. The last thing your Mother would want is to stop you getting on with your own future.

PD symptoms can affect onlookers in different ways, you are going to have to live with that. Again don't feel guilty at your reaction, your mother probably hates the symptoms more than you, but in the end, you will have to accept her as she is.

Ron Hutton always speaks sense, but a word of warning about support groups. I am 10 years younger than your mother and have avoided these groups. They can be populated by a number of people she has little in common with, in either health, or age terms. Some people get a great deal of comfort from these groups, Ron's sounds great, they are just not for everyone.

You can help your Mum, get her sorted at the right Neuro, get her meds sorted, get her back exercising and give yourself time to adjust to the new circumstances.

Good luck,
Neil.