Thank you so much!
It's strange for me, I guess, because hot really isn't a pain trigger. Of course, I rarely eat anything really hot (or drink). You know, come to think of it, I think I subconsciously keep everything within certain temperatures, and made it so over time. wow.
I swallow ANY drink quickly...there's never a "savoring" or "swishing". I don't risk it. That's another thing I think I just developed without realizing those many years ago.
I can only sleep on my left side. The dr. thinks I'm developing a type of neuralgia over there now (left shoulder and upper arm).
It doesn't bother me enough to worry about yet, though.
I've caused the gum under my two front teeth to recede due to the constant rubbing because of the burning, itching, searing there.
These are things that just happen over a span of 22 years.
I'm sure there are so many things that I just do out of habit now that I don't even pay attention to and am just now thinking about...
A hug? Never can I hug someone wherein my right cheek will touch the other person. I can't ever judge another's actions or how hard they might hug....
No showers. I can let that type of action near the right side of my face.
Talking of misunderstandings...once a dr. looked at a scar from a childhood cat bite (barely noticable) on my face and thought it was the scar of my surgeries...oh my. The ER visits...
They just had no clue. First suggestion...abcess. Nope, I explain the surgeries. Oh, well, then I MUST have another cyst. Go back to the ENT. Even the ENT's for a while sent to me dentists because there must be an abcess. They would pull the teeth though none showed up. Ugh. It makes me angry to think of all of this.
One thing I've noticed that does help me at times. I seem to have found a pressure point (next to my nose - right between cheekbone and nostril, though closer to start of cheekbone) that will give me relief when first pressing. It's only helpful for a moment and the pain seems to "adjust" to the pressure and do its thing.
The thing that hurts me the most at this point? Guarding myself from the unpredictability of my little man's hugs.
A child shouldn't have someone hugging and pulling back/turning away/bracing at the same time.
Yes, when I take the time to think of this aspect of my TN, I realize that there's many habitual actions, as well as reactions, present that I developed a long time ago and carry out without thought...
It's amazing what I can see now when I can actually talk about it. It's cleansing/releasing...WOW. And you really UNDERSTAND. I've never had anyone to understand. Years ago, family was frustrated and fed up with me...drs as well. I learned a LONG time ago to stuff it...literally. It's pretty wild to think that I don't have to now...kinda scary almost.
Thank you for being here...more than you know.
KD
PS - I've attached a photo of the little man who's hugs I live for. He's my three (almost four) yr old nephew that's been with me two years now. I'm "mom". He's my world.