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In Remembrance
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: SE Kansas.
Posts: 374
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In Remembrance
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: SE Kansas.
Posts: 374
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Hi guys,
I just took a few days off from here just to think. I even made one day extra-special by treating myself to my favorite powdered coctail (with club soda chaser), and thought about what I expect in my future.
Jose, it would be nice if you're right about anemia. I've had consults (by phone) with two nutritionists and discussed my weight loss and severely diminished energy with my pharmacist several times, and no one brought up the idea of anemia. My doc is dickering with w/c about the pump, so I called and asked him if he could talk them into paying for lab-work. Doesn't look good, but if they won't, I'll have the clinic do it after I get my SSDI. If something could restore my energy, I'd be much happier.
I know, my friends, I should quit smoking. But I'm looking forward to suing the Marine Corps for making me start smoking (smokers smoked, non smokers cleaned up the area). I survived a childhood of juvenile delinquency without ever smoking tobacco, but after 3 days of boot camp I was a smoker. I could win.
The real reason I'm not going to stop is simple: I don't need the stress. I decided a long time ago that I might have to decide when to die, and my "quality of life" will be a major factor; I don't need anything that could add to my discomfort. If I go without smoking and come out with no desire to start again, I won't smoke. I'm just not interested in making heroic efforts to quit.
My weight has been a problem since the summer of '05, when I noticed I had dropped to 155 pounds; it became critical that Thanksgiving, after I had tried to eat more and learned I'd dropped to 139. It became an emergency a few months ago, when it dropped to 126. (I once weighed 220).
Trying to gain weight is a pain in the ***, and the stomach. If my stomach isn't painfully distended, I'm losing weight. I don't really understand it, I have tripled the number of calories but not gaining weight. My wife cooks meals she knows I enjoy: Fried everything; lots of potatos and gravies. Owell, 134 is better than 126.
And everybody in the family claims I got lost, but I didn't. I didn't know where I was, but I knew how to get where I was going, but the city kept making dead-end streeets.
I'm glad it happened. I learned that I have mellowed in my old-age, in the past I have been known to rage at myself for simply making a wrong turn. We got to see places we would never have seen, we laughed a lot, and after we finally got on the right hiway, the radio was saying that the 1st off-ramp was still a parking lot...Vic
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The great end of life is not knowldege but action. T. H. Huxley
When in doubt, ask: What would Jimmy Buffett do?
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