You finally had to do "it".

This is so hard.

We have a pet cemetery in the back corner of our yard, with the 40yrs of pets we have loved. There are two animals in it that are wild and who happened to
die in our yard as well.

It was a bare spot, neglected when we moved in. Over the years I put in a statue or two, and planted some bulbs, and ivy and now it is a beautiful spot.
I don't know if you can bury your Ben on your property, but I think that helped me with the grief.

If you have some pictures, a little montage for your desk might help. Not at first, but as time passes and you miss him.
I think the worst part of it all is when you have to euthanasize the pet there is an element of guilt involved. But you just have to pass thru that.

Remember that the feelings of guilt or sadness are directly proportional to your ablility to love. So the great love you had for Ben will just be the other side of the coin. One cannot love like this without loss, since life is a path, that always changes and eventually ends. So just cry when you feel like it and expect dreams, etc. I cried alot for 2 of our old cats...they seemed to touch me very deeply. The others I missed, too, but not with the same intensity.

Here is a snapshot of our pet cemetery. I helps me move thru the years without my little beloved friends:

I hope you can get a new puppy...this can be the best therapy of all.