Hi. Welcome to the boards and I'm sorry your going through so much. This is a great support board and it is so important to have a support system. I really encourage you to talk to your husband and tell him how he can help you emotionally and how your feeling. Is there other supports too in your life? I know for me my mom has been my strength and without it I don't think I would be here. Anyhow is there a way you can take out a loan,disability insurance? I'm very new to this so I'm not as educated but maybe you can keep calling the doc to see if any early cancels. I know how scary this I live in fear and have been dealing with this for about 9 months. I agree that stress,anxiety,depression though very hard to get through make things worse. I have been working on my mindfullness and trying to stay in the day. Not so great right with that but I do think I have made progress.Sending hugs and your not alone.