OK.
This is still a prob for me.
I think my anger is increasing and I think I feel guilty about being angry.
What the heck is wrong with me that I am angry about someone being in the hospital??

If it were almost anyone else in that hospital I would be visiting. Something about him and something about the situation is a prob for me. Yeah, I am entitled to feel however I want to feel. I just wish that I could make those feelings less intense and have less power to apparently interfere with the rest of my day.

Yet, I worry for him and want him to be well and happy.


I wonder if this is important enough to cancel another day of work/teaching and see the counselor. ? ?

A friend saw G. on Friday and reported to me about his condition. He is in lots of pain. He is not eating much, not talking much, but can make himself understood. I'd really prefer not to know. I had called the hospital over the weekend to find what floor/ward he is in. That was as much as I could deal with. Maybe I'll send a basket of fruit/ballons/flowers. His roommate/partner can always take it home with him if there is no room in the hospital room.

(Oh yeah, and here is the fun part: My friend had to wear a gown while she was on the floor. The hospital said it is for her protection. Too much freaking excitement for me! They didn't make me wear a gown on that floor when I visited a little more than a week ago.)

Part of me needs to know more about how he got into this situation.
And part of me knows that it doesn't make any difference.
I'm mad no matter what and I am not sure what I am mad about.

I want to pack up his stuff in the office so that I don't have to see it.
Or maybe I should move to the temporarily empty office that was offered to me. . . . except that that office is hot (a/c is crap) and I am sensitive to temp.

Lost right now.
Mari