hello dear,
yes I have screamed outloud, but I hurt my own ears?
I hope you enjoy the outside whereever you are because nature will nuture you, and perhaps your scream will turn into singing...

if you are feeling suicidal - most people I have known have been there,
either forever scared from the attempt - or the heaviness
of the heart whom was severely damaged - because it was someone they loved so very much died , in my case t'was both...
is it possible you may change your mind -
by an act of your will - example - you do not feel remotely happy, perhaps even pisssssed off abit,
one must realize we are respondsible for our "I" problems.

ask yourself why you feel like dying? instead of living?
ask your eyes? how they feel when you vocalize this?
I am very serious about this... have you ever tried speaking to your body, well it listens and keeps score of
all negative and positive things that have happen to you, physically and emotionally...
because truly it is trying to do what you wish it to do?
and your crossed circuits are confusing your body/ and mind...
I am a great advocate of talking it out even if I'm by myself, we all have a touch of sanity in our insanity.