Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Ben

Ben was born on Dec. 20, 1941. A good teacher, he died on Oct. 12, 2007 -- his wife Sandra's 52nd birthday. Ben and Sandra met in Boston in the mid-80s, and were married in Halifax on Dec. 21, 2001. They enjoyed each other immensely and felt a deep connection. It was his third marriage and her second.

Ben's favorite drink was sake. His favorite foods were pineapple, yellow fin sushi, salmon sushi and eel sushi (although there is a Japanese name for it). He also liked lamb dishes, and corn, as he was born and grew up in Ft. Dodge, Iowa. He spent summers on his grandparents' farm in Minnesota, where he road a fat pony bareback through the fields, singing. He was also on his high school wrestling team, got a wrestling scholarship to college, and was member of Beta Theta Pi fraternity. Math was his favorite subject in school.

Ben had a fantastic smile and charismatic energy. He was a devoted student of both the Vidyadhara and the Sakyong. He met the Vidyadhara in New York City in the early 70s, and thought he was "the most trustworthy guy I ever met." He moved to Boulder shortly thereafter, and worked as a carpenter, helping to build both Karme Choling and Shambhala Mountain Center structures. He was a devoted kasung and a kusung to Mipham Rinpoche for 25 years.

When he turned 40, he became a software engineer, and recently received a patent for an algorithm he invented. Ben was a dual citizen of both Canada and the U.S. The only place that ever felt like home to him was Halifax, he said on many occasions. He loved classical music and Scottish fiddle music.

Ben began having symptoms of ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease in 2004. He experienced constant fasciculations (incessant but painless twitching in his muscles). His body degenerated over the last three years. First, the muscles in his arms atrophied. Next, his throat muscles began to deteriorate. Toward the end, he could not swallow without choking and so he lost about 40 pounds. His voice was very weak. His legs and diaphragm began to deteriorate simultaneously. Ben had a feeding tube placed recently -- a couple of weeks ago -- and we hoped that it would improve his situation. However, his disease had progressed too far. Unable to manage the saliva in his system or to breathe properly, he had a stroke and his heart stopped on October 10. He was resuscitated, and was able to receive final instructions from the Sakyong before life support system was taken off on October 12. He smiled shortly before he died.

Sandra will take his ashes to Nova Scotia for burial or distribution. Ben also is survived by a sister, Susan Park, and a niece, Betsey, who live in Jackson, Wyoming. His nephew, Jeff, lives in Denver, Colorado.

from Sandra Pontius