Thanks, Scrabble. I like that tree too No. That's not me. She looks a lot like me, though. Short gray hair, short fat body That photo doesn't have any antlers, though



((((((Bamboo)))))),

I DO NOT WANT you buying any knives (or borrowing any either for that matter). You ARE NOT going to make a permanent decision about anything when you're this upset.

Somebody mentioned asking your body what's wrong. That's a very good idea. Drawing a picture of your body sometimes answers questions. I've found that if I sit in a real quiet place (maybe on that park bench of yours) and draw a picture of my body with big paper and big, fat crayons, I can figure out why I am so upset.

I don't think you need to do that, though. I think YOU KNOW why you are so upset.

Let's pretend to switch places for just five minutes. If you were me and I were you and you knew everything about me, what would you tell me?? What do you say to someone that is in so much pain and so much hurt and so many tears??

I usually say: "I wish that I could take away the pain. I wish more than anything that you didn't have to go through this."

You know something, though, Bamboo, the only way through is through. I lost my Brother to suicide when I was 22. He was 21. That'll be 41 years tomorrow. I tried for years and years to join him.

Until I drew that big picture with the big, fat crayons and I could see what I was doing to myself. I had to stop trying to join him and decide to stay here.

That's what you have to do -->> decide to stay here. **HERE**, you have us to listen to you and to help you and to love you and to care about you and to support you. If you make a stupid decision, you don't know what you'll have. If you don't succeed in killing yourself, you might be in even more pain than you are now. If you do succeed in killing yourself, you're throwing away all the love and support and caring that we're offering. WE ARE LISTENING TO YOU. Talk to us.

I know how hurt and crippled I felt when my Brother left me. I don't want you to do that to me too. I don't deserve that. You don't deserve that.

I've spent enough time on both sides of the hurt to know that it's better and safer to stay where you KNOW you can get help then to venture off in another direction trying to get another batch of unhearing people to hear you.

STAY RIGHT HERE AND TALK TO US. What's gonna happen in two weeks?? Tell me the words.

PROMISE ME that you will not buy a knife and you will not borrow a knife.

If you feel a real strong knife-buying urge that you can't control, pick up the phone and dial 9-1-1 and tell them you're suicidal.

Stay strong. Stay safe. Talk to us. BIG HUGS.

Barb