Teacher Applicant

After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching
prospect said, "Let me see if I've got this right: You want me to go
into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior,
observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor
their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning. You
want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and
sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and
personal pride. You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship,
sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a
checkbook, and apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice,
recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass
the state exams.

You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of
their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents by
letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card. You want me to do all
this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few
books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food
stamps. You want me to do all this and then you tell me...

I CAN'T PRAY?"