Monica, I can see that you are filled with fear about your situation. The realities of your situation make this logical. But consider this. No one on earth can claim complete security, be it financial or health-wise, happiness, or whatever. The most we can do is to try to live the best life we can, make the best choices for ourselves. Many people with problems as severe as ours find help in their faith with acceptance of the uncertaincy of the future. At any rate, all of us have faced the same fears that you have and many of us have learned to deal with them and find peace and hope. Since you are young, I wanted you to know that you do not need to succumb to fear and hopelessness. Try to take things in smaller bites, rather than worrying about the entire rest of your life. Peace and light be with you.