thats what i always say to myself whenever i am down, which lately is all the time.Yes i also have bill collectors calling ,i also havr 4 kids to feed and take care off, each day is hard, sometimes i don't want to wake up but always do, my great uncle killed himself in the very room i am in, also my uncle killed himself, i have always worried that one of the boys or men in my family would kill themselfs and did have a scare two years ago when my wonderful ,beutiful, intelligent and kindharded son tried too thank god i stopped him and got him the help he needed but it is always a scare as it is inherited, and just two weeks ago my only brother lost a battle with that ugly c word cancer ,oh how i loved him and how he loved life to be taken at such a young age. So as you can see you are not alone, but we must go on if not for ourselfs then for everyone else and that includes you, even though we don't know each other you have to understand you may be hurting but you will hurt others if you don't take care,, i don't know if i made any sence as i am very upset, but i hope you got the point deb