Don't make me come down there and wrastle it away from you! I'd put it down the toilet so fast, you'd never know what happened (until you needed a plummer)!

There, did that help?

Oh, how about this:

AREN'T YOUR THIGHS ALREADY IN THEIR OWN ZIP CODES???????



Ooooh, how about reverse psychology:

It's okay Doyd, just eat it all up and then there won't be an issue! Then you can just explain to all the little goblins that you're the real GOBBLIN' one in the neighborhood.