My DH and I have been in discussion about downsizing our home because I simply can't keep up with all the garden, lawns, maintenance (helping DH) and the house size itself anymore......except there is always a reason why it's not the right time yet to make our next move. The dog is old and will only last a few more months or a year; son hasn't moved out of home yet; mother is elderly and lives nearby and I am the first point of support for her. However she has more energy than me mostly and can't understand when I don't offer to give her more time - even though I'd love to. I'm sure she simply doesn't have a clue! I am lucky she is still driving at 85 and very competent so she is somewhat independent, even although there is a growing dependancy happening.

I've found it's not so much myself these days who strives with expectations but the people who rely on me, is where the dilemma comes in!! These invisible illnesses do not tend to conjure up much sympathy and understanding from others around us.

It is lonely at times...but think of all the wonderful quiet things we can do these days without rushing around. We are literate, we have books, magazines, we have TV, telephones, music systems and computer....and depending on our level of disability we may be able to do crafts or whittle away at a wood carving! Literacy and communication devices mean we need never be cut off from the outside world. We can take pleasure and joy in small things. Go ahead and lie on the couch I say.

I was raised also to be an achiever but physical limitations, pain and fatigue have changed a lot of that and cause a war within. We have to learn a new thing, and that is to be content within the limitations of our ability. Easily said, hard to do!