Thanks for this topic. I think for myself I try to and this is all easier said then done but focus on my needs and less on what others think. This has been a big goal especially when I was in recovery from my eating disorder. Many outside people will have judgements and opinions but then they go about there life and your left to suffer. Unless you go through a daily battle of this everyday you can not understand. For many years before this issue I did things based on what others thought or said. It kept me miserable. After so many years it was hard to break that but when I do things and of course I still do somethings for others but for some areas I ask myself will this make me a better or more fufilled me? As for this pain issue I'm trying to find my limits and boundaries. For my pain issue I was told by my docs I have to push through as much as I can and be on my legs so I try to do a morning walk,daily errands,push myself to meetings so on. I do have depression so when I don't feel up to doing something I have to ask myself is it cause I hurt so bad beyond pushable or is it the mental pain that I CAN push through. As for guilty I hear and understand you too because I feel this daily. Now in therapy what I'm trying to work on is the reasons behind why I feel that way and to remind myself guilt doesn't achieve anything and what I CAN do in a more productive way to feel better about the situation. I think many times for myself I often feel others are expecting something and that in turn makes me feel guilty but in reality its myself putting those expectations on myself. There are many things right now I wish I could do like go back to school or work but I can't right now but I can do more then I did before like daily walks,errands,so on so I try to focus on that. Now like I said I can say all these fluffy happy things but I often feel despair and all the feelings your saying. So most of what I'm saying is work in progress cause there is nothing more I want is to be "normal". It is a lot of therapy so I thought I would share what I learn.Many hugs.