Hi Addy - nice to meet you too. Thank you for replying to my post. Yes i have had amazing support here - it was totally unexpected to be honest but it has helped alot!! - hence why i do keep coming back (that gut feeling ). Yeh i know that although i do have random ups and downs, it is often triggered by stress - and i have had a lot recently. Nothing in comparison to most people but i'm a worrier so it doesn't take much. Plus it has not helped that my flatmate has been basically saying that she's feeling down and horrid because i have not been around to help her. I know she doesn't mean it horribly, it is just a reaction to her own stress but it has really really hit me further down. So it has been a combination of that, work, other people's reactions to things, not being helped, not being on anti-depressants, feeling ill generally - and yeh i have got this chest infection because i have not had the resources to make myself better. So you are very right in what you say.

I have put some thought into your question - what makes me happy. And i'm coming up blank. I know what makes things better if that is the same thing? I have found that simple things like having my window open at night makes me feel more alive and actually calms me to sleep. I know that wearing a hat makes my vision smaller so i don't get so over-whelmed. Anyone else found that?? And i like sitting on my floor. I don't know the reason why for that. I sit on the floor next to a radiator with things (e.g. objects like wardrobes) very close to me and it calms me. These things dont make me happy but they make me - happier.

Thanks david, i'm.....fine. I had a bad night yesterday. I'm just trying to hold everything together right now. I get the feeling that quite a few people here are doing the same. How are you? Thank you so much for caring!