THE MOST IMPORANT THOUGHTS I LEFT OUT:

I cannot imagine being a sole care taker in our situation.
However, I DO know that my husband gets so tired, so stressed, his BP sky rockets and then there is the anger.
Its getting to him that he HAS to do everything.
Much more lately.
It builds and builds.
He also gets immune to my pain levels.
And at times says "you know what needs to be done, so do it".
In other words he doesnt want to hear it.

There are times I wish I was on my own so I do not have to deal with his emotions and anger along with mine.
I do drive myself places now and do things on my own cause I do not dare ask him to take another day off work, more time out of his schedule to do something for ME.
Its always about ME
ME ME ME
I pay for it in more ways than one.

On the other hand he does things for me, drives me to places, takes me where I NEED to go.
But, its at HIS time!
WHen a person is used to being totally independant then dependant its a mind quest.

I JUST WANTED TO SHARE.