Hi,
I was here a year ago--part of the gang from another forum. Then I just sorta of stopped going to forums of any kind. PC trouble--life in general etc...

Now--I need help. Friends--someone to talk to.
I am a CP pt.
However, the real issues for me at this time are this:
Since April 2007--I lost my mom--my marriage and my home.

My mom passed suddenly on April 16th--we lived next door to each other and I was her care giver for 12 years. General care as she was pretty much self care but had early dementia.
She died in her bed--I went to give her meds and she said she was tired and wanted to be left alone--two hours later I was doing CPR but to no avail. She was 75.

I was stunned, crushed and emotions I have no name for. My family came from all over the country.
The day before the funeral my then husband decided to fall off the wagon and cross the one line I would not except--he hit me.

2 days later my brothers moved me into my moms home where I am now.
There was a whirlwind of activity for a week or so and then Me trying to deal with the loss.
I have 5 grandkids whom I care for and also were close to their "granny".
The 13 yr old has yet to come to terms.

I think pure adrenaline kept me moving and then my physical body crashed.
I live in a rural area and my PC is like a window to the world for the days my condition makes me unable to drive or go out.

I am still mourning only now it sneaks up in spurts. My daughter chose this first Christmas without my mom to take the kids and go 2000 miles away so I will be alone.

I am sorry this is so long--I just need some help coping with loss and more important--finding a life of my own. When you spend your life as a care giver and then your no longer needed--your left sort of empty.
I am disabled but prior to that I was a nurse for 30 yrs.
Thanks for listening.....