Oh dear... darn, I'm really sorry to be reading this... but I have some more questions for you so don't go anywhere....
First, let me say how glad I was that you replied to the other thread - the one when I asked you about what makes you happy. You said:
Quote:
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I have put some thought into your question - what makes me happy. And i'm coming up blank. I know what makes things better if that is the same thing? I have found that simple things like having my window open at night makes me feel more alive and actually calms me to sleep. I know that wearing a hat makes my vision smaller so i don't get so over-whelmed. Anyone else found that?? And i like sitting on my floor. I don't know the reason why for that. I sit on the floor next to a radiator with things (e.g. objects like wardrobes) very close to me and it calms me. These things dont make me happy but they make me - happier.
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Well, guess what... you thought of happy things!!!
After reading today's post, if I am understanding you correctly, you are waiting for courage. And if I am interpretting this correctly, you believe that it will take courage for you to harm yourself.
I really hope I'm not saying the wrong thing here... and I really hope that someone else has words to say this better than me....
but I think it takes more courage and strength to keep living ... so if you are waiting for courage - I hope that you find it so that you can rise up out of this fog
I'm so sorry that you think those who are being helped are weak.
That's not true.
It takes a lot of courage for the weak to reach out for that help.
I want that to be the kind of courage you find.
God knows I know how difficult a time you are going through.
Confusion sucks.
I wish you felt believed and I wish you could sleep.
(((hugs))) Addy