Claims

This morning I tried to keep myself calm
I’ll talk nice and gentle with phone in my palm
I promised the wife to sort this one out
My mind was resolved, my thoughts had no doubt

There’s needless to say that didn’t ring true
the end of the call saw airwaves turn blue
I’d been on the phone for most of the day
Chasing my claims and denied with no pay

Look my dear lady, again I am through
I’m chasing my tail, it’s all down to you
I’ve spoken to Bill, I’ve spoken to Jane
Please give an answer I’m going insane

On august the fifth my claim I did send
The end of October is just round the bend
How long do we wait, our cupboards are bare
This Government promised its taxes to share

To claim D L A, a form you must fill
Fifty nine pages of testing your will
Complete it on-line or send it by post
Expecting the least but hoping for most.

Five hours of typing , a true test of strength
Then checking it over, its breadth and its length
Forwards and backwards, the claiming forms go
Different departments are keeping them low









What pitiful lives they’re making us lead
Paranoid and broke they have to concede
But governments come and then are declined
Here’s hoping the next, makes claiming less grind

Take heed of my words when time to retire
Try to be solvent and not to expire
Don’t spend your money on fags or on booze
Hide it away for a Caribbean cruise

If that doesn’t appeal, then tuck it away
Save all your money the banker might say
Don’t listen to him, I hear you all cry
Those bloody charges will bleed you all dry


listerine