O Captain! My Captain!
Staff Reports
Article Last Updated: 11/08/2007 12:48:01 PM EST


Rev. Gary Wilburn, pastor of First Presbyterian Church of New Canaan, announced to his congregation Sunday that he has been diagnosed with a form of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, and that he will be stepping down as pastor before after his Dec. 23 service.
News~Review columnist Michael Turpin, a member of the congregation, offers his thoughts on the beloved pastor.




O Captain! My Captain! our fearful trip is done,

The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,

The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,

While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring; .


Walt Whitman in a tribute to Abraham Lincoln from The Leaves of Grass


It's been a rough two weeks for the Next Station to Heaven. Two families with a total of nine children under the age of 14 between them lost their young mothers to sudden illness. As if this dose of reality was not enough to jolt anyone to their core, I received a note from Gary Wilburn, our beloved senior pastor of First Presbyterian Church of New Canaan and a man that I have come to love and admire, sharing with us that he had been diagnosed with lower

motor neuron disease, a form of ALS Lou Gehrig's disease.
Gary Wilburn has been a rock, a moral compass, and a fearless burning bush compelling thousands in our community to think beyond ourselves and perhaps our smaller radius of responsibility to consider how we can affect all of mankind. I met Gary four years ago. Actually, I should say, I interviewed him as I was trying to select a church that might best appeal to our young family as we returned from living abroad. Gary patiently indulged my every question.

"This is the reason we are an inclusive church. As (we) have affirmed, we invite all people to participate in our community and worship without insisting that they become like us in order to be acceptable (whether they be) agnostic or believers, conventional Christians or skeptics, women, men, those of all sexual orientations those of all races and cultures, classes and abilities, those who hope for a better world and those who have lost hope"

Gary captivated his congregation with his informed, compassionate and determined view of a world that is essentially made up of those that serve themselves and those that serve others and all of us in between. In listening to his theology of living, I came to understand that there are no burning bushes, only people who give themselves so completely to others that they are filled with a level of spirituality that attracts people to their way of life. A person's actions, not his intentions, motivate others to do the right thing.

Gary did not evangelize, he listened. He did not seek to impose a point of view but sought to understand what each of our views were so that we might find a common ground on which we can build a shared faith in life's possibilities and defeat its limitations. He was the captain of our ship and each week he challenged us to look beyond self-interest to people with whom we have no interest, to places where we have no presence, and to conflicts in which we had no personal stake. He loathed indifference and celebrated those who were unafraid to challenge the status quo for the sake of the truth.

"In times of fear and panic, people gravitate to simple solutions for complex problems. But thinking "Christians" learn to live with ambiguity Ours is a church where the only heresy lies in pretending that there is only one way and that God is on OUR side We find more grace in the search for understanding than we do in dogmatic certainty more value in questions than absolutes"

Gary and his wife Bev have cared for so many and only sought to be an example that others might follow. People filled with this rare spirit of giving and service radiate a light that intoxicates anyone it touches like the milk of human kindness that the Ghost of Christmas Present administered to Scrooge to open his eyes to the need that existed all around him.

Gary showed all his cards when he preached. He got emotional.

Compassion demands confrontation he told us. "God's will be done on earth as it is in heaven" means serving as a vessel for compassion, understanding, tolerance, peace, justice and selflessness. Gary took a risk with his congregation, looking to soften the hard shell often forged from ego and self-centered fear. He challenged us to take a position on things that offended our ever-developing sense of what was just and true. He cried at indifference. He choked on apathy and he sobbed over those who were marginalized by a world that felt no compulsion to intervene. We learned to laugh and cry with him and to accept that "life was a wonderful but indeed terminal condition." We began to understand that God gave us the gift of life and what we made of it is would be our gift to him.

I'm not looking at this as a terminal illness because I believe in prayer. I think what we call "miracles" are really "nature unencumbered." God not only surrounds us, but is actually inside each of us, woven into the very fabric of our beings. When Bev and I first heard of the doctor's diagnosis, we had a good long cry. Then I remembered that great song by country-western singer Tim McGraw. It's about a cowboy who thought he'd live forever "lookin' at the X-rays an' talkin' 'bout the options, an' talking 'bout sweet time. I asked him when it sank in, that this might be the real end how's it hit you when you get that kind of news An' he said, "I went sky diving, I went Rocky Mountain climbing, I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu. And I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying. An' he said one day I hope you get the chance, to live like you were dying.'

As we sat dumbfounded, we felt bonded by a deep connection that comes when you experience compassion so unconditional toward someone who means so much to your personal and spiritual development. My first reaction is "Why Gary?" As if reading our minds, our captain and minister said, Some of you may ask why? The question is not why, but where do we go from here? Together Together we kneel, we walk, holding one another up and holding hands. In the eye of eternity the only lives that end too soon are those that won't live on in people's hearts."

I thought about my minister and our congregation. I realized any community, whether it be a family, church or town, weathers any storm by its own selfless interest in one another. This week, as I watched New Canaan begin to wrap its arms around these families in crisis and as I witnessed the congregation as it embraced Gary and Bev Wilburn, it felt good to be a human being. I knew this was the exact legacy that Gary spent his entire ministry pursuing. While his disease may conspire to rob him of his voice, it will never, ever, extinguish his light.

As he clutched his wife's hand and wiped his and her tears in front of an adoring flock, we realized he was showing each of us that we have a choice in life to " either light a candle or curse the dark" ..

Death is good because it puts a limit on the number of days we have to accomplish our goals. Knowing that our days are numbered motivates us to strive for greatness. He continued with the lyrics of Tim McGraw's song. I was finally the husband, that most the time I wasn't. An' I became the friend a friend would like to have. And all of the sudden goin' fishin' wasn't such an imposition, and I went three times the year I lost my dad. Well I finally took the good book and I took a good long hard look at what I'd do if I could do it over all again."

C.S. Lewis once responded to a pious zealot who was discussing his soul, "You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." As I watched my minister and his wife confront his physical mortality, their spirits shined like brilliant flames fueled with dignity and purpose. I knew we would not grow apart and that I would stay close to them. I would live my life a little more recklessly and a little more deeply and someday when I am watching a glorious sunrise across an ice field on Kilimanjaro or bungee jumping with my daughter off some ridiculous suspension bridge, I will scream at the top of my lungs, "Gary Wilburn, you made me do this!"

http://www.newcanaannews-review.com/ci_7405576