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Elder
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,438
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Elder
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,438
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Hard to bare
I have anxiety to the point that it causes pain in the middle of my chest,and it goes to the left under my rib cage. I have cronic anxiety,and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,and it all started with panic attacks when I was a teenager. It has caused me a life of difficulty,and misunderstanding from my family,friends,bosses,and teachers. Now I find that I'm tired of it all,and I'm a good person. I find myself to be anxious,mildly angry,alone,and disturbed. I lost my job,and social security disability has denied my claim for disability two times now. I received that news today. I don't know what to do. They just don't care,and people just don't care,and I'm a human being who has reached out for help. There seems to be little help these days if you have been going through this for a long time. I'm on a low dose of medication,and I think that I need more,but I don't press the issue. I don't drink , but I use to years ago,but stoped because I was drinking to much,and it backfired on me. I stoped. I don't smoke. I don't take illegal drugs. I'm anxious,and it doesn't go away. I've been going threw psychotheropy for years,and years,and it doesn't help very much anymore. You know, I feel like saying stop the earth,I want to get off,you know what I mean. I'm tired of this pain,and I seem to have retreated from most everyone. I don't want to,but people seem to bring me so much pain. They don't mean too. I had alot of people abuse my sensitive nature when I was growing up. I didn't understand then,but I understand now alot about psychology,and why people do the things that they do. I use to find comfort in that,and knew that It wasn't my fault. I find little comfort in what use to comfort me. I don't know what to do. My mind is OK,and functional. It's my emotions that take me on a roller coaster ride. No one has any answers to this,and I can't seem to get any help from social security disability. It seems like I'm written off once it is known that it is a mental problem. I didn't creat this problem,but I'm stuck with it,and have to let people know that I'm not a second class citizen,and that my illness is just as much of a illness,as a physical illness. I cannot stop feeling this way. I grind my teeth in my sleep. It's not anything that I can just shake off. What options do I have. I'm running out of options. I don't plan on doing anything wrong,because I have a very sensitive conscious,and am a moral person.I thought that someone out there could relate to my suffering,and let me know that they understand. Maybe someone out there has some solutions that have not been presented to me.
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