AMN: Holy cow! It's D-day! We have got to finish this before DM gets back!

DM: Where was I...

Well, my thighs burned through the 80s and into the 90s. Danny and I managed to raise a fine group of strapping, young bucks. I've never been sure how many because our house had a revolving door and my culinary talents were demanded around the clock by the pack of bottomless stomachs we called sons.

As the years wore on, the boys grew up and gradually left the kitchen in pursuit of their own life ambitions. It was as our nest emptied that I began noticing some symptoms of the not-quite-right. Finally, Danny talked me into seeing a doctor and it turned out that I had MS, then I didn't have MS, then maybe I have MS, but I definitely have FM, but it could be MS, but it's not MS. But, it still could be MS.

Being the social butterfly that I am, it seemed like the logical choice to find others who could benefit from my experience and sick sense of humor. I tried volunteering at the blood bank but was asked to leave when I jokingly shuffled the tube labels. Some people really need to relax!

Next, I tried to help at the local soup kitchen but when my sons showed up every day and complained that my cooking wasn't as good as at home, I stomped out in a fit of rage. The little ingrates.

One day, Danny came home with a new thing, a computer. Now, I'd heard of these on Star Trek and Lost in Space but had no idea that regular people could use them. I was hooked from the start. I honed my skills to such a fine point, I could now type "DM" in hundreds of colors and sizes!

As if that wasn't exciting enough, a friend informed me that my new computer was also a communication tool! Who knew!?!

Well, the internet and I got along famously, especially when I found so many nice pictures of sweet boys. Stiiiiiiiimulation!!!!! Danny didn't like that at first, but then he found some nice girls to chat with and he was happy.

Um, then, I found this forum and decided to welcome newbies. The end. —DM

P.S. Here's my latest pic: