Dear hereandnow
I am so glad Tessa pointed you here and really welcome you I used to ask Ross to put you in touch with me, but he seemed to feel you wouldnt understand what he recognised years ago as OCD and self harm problems. I am so glad you are here, and so wish it wasnt because of the way things have been for Ross and for your family and you.

If Ross would ever like to connect with me again, do tell him Chemar/Cheri and her son "Wood" say Hi. He was in contact with us by email for a while but then we didnt hear from him or see him on the old BT board for a long time. Sadly when that board crashed, all the posts disappeared too> It would have been so helpful for you to be able to read his posts when he first joined, and then onward. We all cared about cool_gadget as he was known, and he was a real inspiration to many of the parents for his upbeat and yet caring attitude, and his care about his future and academics etc.

My son also has TS and OCD, and he and Ross were able to communicate.
Honestly, Ross never suggested that you didnt love him or try to provide help......he seemed more frustrated that the doctors were saying he was ok when he knew he wasnt, and that he didnt feel he was able to communicate that to you, nor to get your support for the alternative treatments he seemed eager to try, as I dont think he felt the medication he was on was helping him. He was very very worried about the OCD and the potential for self harm, and I did ask him often to try to connect you and me as I felt my experience with my son could maybe shed some light for you. But he seemed adamant that you wouldnt understand. I think perhaps he was so concerned at disappointing you maybe, to have to express to you what OCD was for him and that you wouldnt understand that he couldnt help what he was thinking/feeling/doing related to the OCD. I guess he felt you accepted the doctor's view and wouldnt understand that he really wasnt ok.

When I heard he and his girlfriend had split I was concerned already as I know he seemed totally devoted to her and that she was "his world", so I know that must have been devastating for him.


well, that is all then and what matters is now........please know that I am here as are many other caring people, to offer you and Ross our support and whatever we can to help you through this.
I went through very dark days of worry and despair 7 years ago when my son was pre teen and his symptoms were then at their very worst and so I know how you feel

Please do let Ross know he is in my thoughts and prayers, and that I do hope he will connect with us again.

and my prayers are lifted for you too, hereandnow. It's so clear how much you love your precious Ross.

sincerely
Cheri