I am so sorry ghaverstick. At this point in time it would seem like a never ending sea of grief and you are coming up on the holidays which are always so stressful when you lose a loved one....also the first year anniversary is looming for you so your plate is really full.

There is no time table for our grieving...it takes as long as it takes and you must be very kind to yourself and not have a lot of expectations. Have you tried planting anything in his memory? Is there a support grief that meets in your area? It really helps to talk about how you are feeling with others who has "been there".

We are here for you and will gladly listen. Warm hugs.