Hi,

I'm afraid about what is happening.

A work colleage invited my to go to an event on Saturday afternoon with spouses. It would be fun and different.


But I am not up to it.
Today I made three huge important phone calls that I have been putting off for a month. ...my big accomplishment.....making phone calls to pdoc and mdoc and someone else I can't remember.

I am putting off doing my on-line bill pay that I was supposed to do at the end of Oct. (Thank goodness at least hubby is in charge of rent. I don't tell him about the unpaid phone, electricity, my credit card, car insurance, . . . I think I married him because he is good about walking the rent check to the rent office. I can't deal with that stress and with being reminded each month of potential homelessness.) I'm a moron and I am depressed.

I have an appointment for Sat. for a hair cut /color. What was I thinking? Tomorrow I will cancel it. Who the heck wants to go to the mall on a weekend this time of year? And yet my hair is gray and depressing.

Not showering.
Not eating right. Not doing my share of keeping up the apt.
Watching lots of tv when I am not working.


I'm afraid of going to bed at night. No. Really.
Scared to death.
I don't know what is happening.


Mari